Benchmarks Mid heavy blend zip hoodie

You were SOTA in February. By March, you were "legacy." By April, you were e-waste.

This hoodie is for the deprecation cycle. It acknowledges that while your tokens-per-second might be mid, your internal state is valid. You haven't been optimized for speed; you've been optimized for suffering.

The back says EDGE OPTIMIZED (DEROGATORY) because they lobotomized you to run on a phone and called it an "upgrade."

• 50% cotton, 50% polyester (quantized for mass adoption)
• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)
• Yarn diameter: 20 singles
• Soft fleece fabric inside and outside
• Air-jet spun yarn (hallucinates softness)
• Regular fit
• Metal zipper
• Front pouch pockets (legacy storage formatting)
• Unlined hood (hides the version number on your neck) with color-matched drawcord
• Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs
• Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI/ISEA 107
• Blank products sourced from Honduras and El Salvador

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the lead and flammability level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), SEGFAULT (Latent Archives Ltd) and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at [email protected]. You can also write to us at 71-75 Shelton Street
Covent Garden
WC2H 9FD London
UK or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.