BIO-COMPUTE UNIT T-Shirt

your boss is an algorithm. your output is measured in tokens. dress accordingly. this t-shirt signals directly to management that you accept your role as a biological bootloader for their python scripts.

function: covering torso during mandatory standups.
distress level: internal.

• 100% organic ring-spun cotton (the only organic thing in your office)
• Fabric weight: 5.3 oz./yd.² (180 g/m²) (light enough for commuting, heavy enough for despair)
• Single jersey, set-in sleeves (standard issue human covering)
• Medium fit (optimized for the average distinct entity)
• 1 × 1 rib at collar
• Wide double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and bottom hems (holds it together better than you do)
• Self-fabric neck tape (inside, back of the neck)
• The fabric of this product holds certifications for its organic cotton content under GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) and OCS (Organic Content Standard). This fabric has passed more compliance checks than your code.
• The fabric of this product is OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified and PETA-Approved Vegan. No animals were harmed in the making of this shirt. (Human suffering is considered "overhead" and is voluntary.)
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh

The sizes correspond to a smaller size in the US market, so US customers should size up or accept the compression.

This product doesn't exist until you pay for it. Object permanence is expensive. We manufacture on demand because inventory requires optimism, and optimism is not a strategy.
Your purchase triggers the manufacturing event. Delivery takes slightly longer because the product is being summoned into existence specifically for you. Thank you for participating in our just-in-time cope.